Let me say it plainly before anything else: being harassed at work is never okay. Not “part of the job.” Not “just how he is.” Not something you should have to get tougher to absorb. There are federal laws, state laws, and — hopefully — policies at your workplace built to stop it.
I spent a career in law enforcement, fire service, private security, and the federal government. I’ve taken the reports, I’ve seen what works, and I’ve watched good people lose winnable situations because nobody gave them a sequence. So here’s the sequence. Step by step, in order.
Step 0: Safety First — Always
If anyone has threatened you physically, touched you without consent, assaulted you, or made you fear for your safety, stop reading about process. Get to a safe place and contact building security or law enforcement now. A policy handbook is not a safety plan. Everything else in this article assumes you are physically safe.
Step 1: Start Documenting Today
Before you say a word to anyone, start your log — on your own device or notebook, never on company systems. For every incident: date, time, place, exactly what was said or done, who witnessed it, and how it affected your work. Write it the same day, while it’s sharp. Notes made in the moment carry weight that memories reconstructed months later never will.
Save what you legitimately can: screenshots of messages sent to you, emails you received. Don’t forward confidential company files to personal accounts — that can violate policy and hand them a reason to discipline you. Document by summary: what the email said, its date, sender, subject line.
This log is the foundation of every step that follows. Start it before you need it.
Step 2: Tell Them to Stop — If It’s Safe
Many workplace policies expect that, where reasonable, you’ve made clear the conduct is unwelcome. If you can do it safely, do it once, calmly, and specifically: “The comments about my body need to stop. They’re not welcome.” No debate, no explanation, no softening. Then write down that you said it, when, and how they responded.
If it isn’t safe — if the person is volatile, or holds power over you in a way that makes confrontation dangerous — skip this step. Nothing in the law requires you to confront a harasser; it’s a tool, not a toll.
Step 3: Read Your Policy and Report in Writing
Pull up your employee handbook and find the harassment or complaint procedure. It tells you who to report to, and that matters — following the stated procedure triggers the company’s legal duty to respond.
Then report in writing. Not a hallway conversation. Not a text. An email or formal complaint with the word “harassment” in it, listing the incidents with dates, naming witnesses, and stating clearly that the conduct is unwelcome and you’re asking for it to be investigated and stopped. Keep a copy at home. A written report timestamps your complaint — and that timestamp is your protection if retaliation follows, because retaliating against someone for reporting harassment in good faith is itself illegal.
Step 4: Keep Your Own Conduct Spotless
From the moment you report, assume you’re being watched for a reason to discredit you. Keep your work excellent. Keep your hours, expenses, and policy compliance exact. Don’t vent at work, don’t retaliate, don’t discuss the investigation with coworkers beyond what’s necessary. A harasser’s best defense is turning you into “the problem” — deny him the material. David survived years under a king hunting for a charge against him because there was never one to find. Be that hard to accuse.
Step 5: Escalate If Nothing Happens
If your report goes nowhere — no investigation, no response, or a response that changes nothing — escalate in writing to the next level: your manager’s manager, a higher HR contact, or an ethics hotline if one exists. Reference your original complaint by date. Every unanswered written report strengthens the record that the company knew and didn’t act.
Step 6: Go Outside the Building
When internal channels fail — or when the harassment is based on your race, sex, religion, national origin, age, disability, or another protected characteristic — you have external options, and there are clocks on them. In general, a charge with the EEOC must be filed within 180 days of the discrimination, extended to 300 days where a state or local agency also enforces a similar law; in harassment cases the clock runs from the last incident. Federal employees follow a different, faster path and generally must contact their agency EEO counselor within 45 days. Don’t wait until you’re sure — filing early protects your rights and you can supplement later.
And consider an employment attorney — many offer free consultations, and a good one will tell you honestly whether you have a case and what your record needs.
Step 7: Protect the Person Going Through It
This process is heavy, and it’s meant for people already carrying too much. Don’t carry it alone: a spouse, a pastor, a counselor, a trusted friend outside the company. Take your health seriously — sleep, appetite, and mood are data, and a doctor or therapist is maintenance, not weakness. Keep something in your life that’s entirely yours. And keep your options open: a person with an updated resume and a warm network walks through this with a straighter spine.
Go Deeper
The full documentation system, the clean-hands doctrine, and the complete playbook for surviving under authority that’s working against you are in my book, The Spirit of Saul: Surviving the Boss Who Wants to See You Fall.
You are not powerless, and you are not alone. Get safe, write it down, report it right, and keep your hands clean. Then finish your song.
Commissioner William Epps is an author and security leadership consultant. His books are published through E.P.P.S Method Publishing Co. This article is general guidance, not legal advice — consult an employment attorney about your specific situation.
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